Holding a Healing Space for Changes to be Made
and Trauma to be Gone
I have been in practice for many years, helping hundreds and hundreds of participants (clients) to finally let go of trauma, as manifesting through emotional pain, addictions, mental illness and depression. I had my practice set up in the typical therapeutic model, seeing clients for an hour or so a couple of times a week or month.
At the time, I was counseling a lot in the field of long-term eating disorders and was at a conference, where I saw the same treatment methodologies, although updated to fit a more ‘holistic’ approach, still being used thirty years later to heal addiction and trauma, without much long-term success. Even the residential treatment centers and day programs hadn’t changed that much in all these years. I found this sad and frustrating. I was also counseling couples extensively and women in the Chassidish Jewish community dealing with trauma. I decided to step out-of-the-box and extend my therapy sessions to more hours. Suddenly, nuggets of gold were coming out of the client that allowed for healing on a whole new level. They felt safe and secure enough to reveal the layers of shame and pain that could release their old messages and create a healing opportunity. What I understood was that beforehand, each time a client would leave the ‘magic’ room and return to their life, their many years (sometimes a lifetime) of trauma would follow them and they would be all alone again. The trauma would easily be retriggered in their daily life. So, each time they returned to therapy, they needed the time and space to rebuild safety and trust with their therapist; each and every time. That’s why it was often not until that third hour that they felt comfortable enough to reveal their ‘secret’ and allow themselves to receive true love and support.
This new way of treating the client led to an ‘Aha Moment,’ in which I realized that the only way to truly heal deep layers of trauma and addiction was to ‘BE’ with my clients in their lives. What did this mean? I understood that the formal setting of the therapy office could go only so far in healing certain life experiences, and that it was the ability to accompany a person in whatever way they needed- whether we got out of our heads and into our bodies inside the office, or spent longer periods of time together that included being with them in their world that allowed the TRUTH to surface. It can be at any given moment that old trauma gets retriggered; while walking down the street; at home; at a restaurant; outside; inside; in anxiety-provoking environments and more…healing can never occur until ‘we meet the trauma where it lives’; all over and at any time. This Aha Moment led to this premise:
“The only way to heal trauma and to heal the relationships and circumstances that brought about that trauma is to 'Be With' that person ‘In Their Life.’ It is from this model that true safety and trust are created. Then the therapist is able to see when trauma actually occurs, hold loving hands with the client and together heal it on the deepest and most permanent level. This is done with safety, love, strength and immense compassion.”
A rush of certainty and joy came to me when I finally brought this to light, gave it a name, ‘Therapy Beyond Walls.' I knew I had found the missing piece and started to see lifetimes of trauma being healed in a very short time. I am so grateful to share it with my clients - and with you.